WAGS Against Bad Unis: Butt Sweat

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I am beginning a new segment called WAGS (Wives and Girlfriends) Against Bad Unis. Being married to the sports-obsessed man that I am, I spend a lot of time watching EPSN. We watch all the sports (I really mean all of them) as well as shows where other people talk about the sports we just watched. Sometimes, we even listen to podcasts of people talking about the sports and the shows of people talking about sports. Inevitably, my attention gravitates to the uniforms. It's hard not to notice them, honestly. There are just so may bad ones out there.

Today's issue, butt sweat! This seems like an appropriate place to start since visible butt sweat is at the top of my uniform pet-peeves. Allow me to illustrate:

  

Pay special attention to number 77's derriere. Who wants to see that really?

Not all football pants are made the same. Some specific types of spandex and some colors are worse offenders than others. As you can see in this picture, yellow should not be used for football pants. Although, I could have predicted as much. Other colors that should be banned from football pant production are silver, gray, red and most other light colors. Furthermore, specific fabric blends should be tested for their ability to repel liquid (as opposed to absorb it).

In an attempt to attract more female viewers, the NFL wears pink on certain days in support of breast cancer research and those suffering with the disease. Some also suspect the recent crackdown on helmet-to-helmet contact in another effort to woo concerned mothers. I, however, think the women's vote could be won by paying more attention to uniform details. Surely I am not the only woman who notices these things.

Unrelated but relevant:
Last night, E and I had a friendly wager on the outcome of our bowling adventure. In the first game, I was crushed by over 50 points. However, in the second round, on a double or nothing wager, I lost by only 2 points. This would have been devastating had E not arrogantly given me 10 points-- meaning I covered the spread and beat him at his own game. Victory!